overwhelmed.

I know I keep saying this but things have been so crazy lately and I am not exactly sure when they will slow down. But you see, I don't do well in stressful situations, and I feel like that is all I have been dealing with lately.

Mady and I are finally back in Virginia for the next 2 weeks to pack up the apartment, tie up some loose ends, and finally sell the stupid Volvo (for real...I would love to light the stupid thing on fire...) We drove back on Wednesday morning in the worst storm possible. I was driving our little Mazda 3 and the wind was out of control. Seriously my car was all over the road. It was a long 5 and 1/2 hour drive. Thankfully we made it home in one piece and Mady was such a good girl the whole way, even when the DVD player decided it did not want to work anymore. However, it is lonely here. I have a lot to get done but there is ZERO adult interaction and it kills me. I only get to talk to Matt, maybe 20 minutes to 30 minutes in a whole day. He started the police academy on Monday and has been under so much pressure and stress so I totally understand but I still miss him so much.

Bottom line: I cannot wait to move to Delaware and be back together again. Mady misses her Daddy and I miss my husband. Beyond.Words!

Then I think about baby # 2. I forgot about 90% of the time I am pregnant until I feel her wonderful kicks and movements or until I am so exhausted and tired from packing that I need to sit down for the rest of the night. Plus add on top of that my lovely energetic 2 year old who constantly asks to play all day and I feel so badly telling her I have x, y, and z to get done then mommy can play. I just am under such a time crunch and am the only one packing everything up. Stressful.

Matt will be so busy with the police academy that I am dreading the transition from one to two kids. Trust me, I am beyond excited to meet little miss Maci Lee but I am also terrified because I know it will be all me for most of the time. I am worried about how I am going to handle such a big change. Like I have said before I don't do well with change and let me just tell you moving to a new state, your husband getting a brand new job, and having a baby is not for the faint of heart. Ha!  Thankfully we will be about an hour and half from parents so my mom, I know, will be a huge help.

I just have all these thoughts swirling around in my little brain. I needed to write, and vent and usually I feel somewhat better. Sorry this is a debbie downer post but I needed to get my thoughts on paper.

Ok vent session over.

Scenes from the past few days

I have a ton of pictures on my iphone so I figured I would put some on here and catch you up on what is going on around here. Honestly, not too much. We are kind of in limbo, waiting on some news, and it has us feeling restless. Praying that we hear today, one way or the other. I promise to update everyone when we know more. I know, I know, I'm being vague. Sorry!

Anyways...here are a few pictures of what has been going on with us.

The other day we were at Target (duh!) and I finally decided to start potty training with Mady. She has honestly been asking for a few days and I just wasn't sure if either of us were truly ready. Well I figured we would buy the big girl underwear and see how it went. *I think I had a little bit too high expectations because she had been all about it* Big.Fat.Fail. We kept putting her on the potty with no success and then when she knew she needed to go, she would run in her room and pee on her floor in her princess underwear. The first time, ok. It was an accident. The second time, I knew girlfriend knew what she was doing and I was annoyed. So, we quit potty training for now. We will attempt again in a little while. Can you tell she is a little stubborn?!

These two pictures melt my heart. Now that I sit down and think about this past week, it has been a difficult one with Mady. Lots of whining, and being plain out mean, especially to Matt. For no real reason. She is all of a sudden so clingy to me again. The other night she wanted to play with daddy! They colored and then had a dance party to Mumford and Sons. It was so cute. They are my heart and soul. I love these two more than words.

Yesterday we headed to the mall to get a "mall pretzel" (as Mady says) and just walk around a little bit. We had no real agenda. We bought an outfit for Mady and a few things for Maci. Since she is a summer baby and my Mady girl was a fall baby their clothes are in opposite seasons and plus I wanted to pick something up just for Maci girl. Let the shopping begin! =)

 

 Mady loves watching "Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood" on PBS and it really is such a cute show. Well yesterday he was having a sleep over so Mady decided she was going to have a sleep over as well with all her stuffed animals. It was so cute. I love watching her when she imaginary plays. I love hearing what she says and how she pretends. And yes, she is only in a diaper. We have this new thing where we love to be naked and run around like crazy (her words, not mine)

It's a......

So on Friday Hubby and I went for our gender/anatomy scan. I was super nervous. I just wanted to make sure the baby was okay with how much I have been sick lately. As soon as she put the wand on my belly all my fears went away. She asked us if we wanted to know what we were having and I said YES! She also asked if we had an idea one way or another. We both said Boy but not with a lot of confidence. This pregnancy just has been so different than mine with Mady girl so I figured it must be a boy. Plus, I had countless dreams that it was a boy until the night before the ultrasound, I had a dream it was a girl. So really I had no idea. 

She could tell right away and asked us names. Then she wrote what it was on the ultrasound machine.

It's a......

GIRL!

A healthy and beautiful Maci Lee will be joining our family at the end of June! 

My hubby just laughed and had the biggest smile on his face. I know he was a little disappointed it wasn't a boy. But he is the best daddy to Mady. I always tell him it takes a very special man to have two daughters and I truly believe it does. He is going to be wonderful with both of them! 

I officially have yet to gain any weight. Actually I am still at -2 lbs from when I first got pregnant. But this baby...she has no problem gaining weight. She weighs 15 oz! Yeah, that is in the 97%! So basically, it is no big deal but they will do another growth scan at 32 weeks to make sure she is not 100 lbs. =)  She is also breech which is the way Mady was at 20 weeks too and never turned. So I must birth big, breech girl babies who then become this petite little girls. The breech thing doesn't worry me too much because I am already having a scheduled C-section but because Mady was breech, we dealt with hip dysplasia and was in a harness for her first 3 months. It was not fun at all but it is totally fixable. So, I am trying not to worry about that fact. 

So my Mady girl 

is going to be the best girl Sister to Maci Lee! 

We already can't wait to meet her and kiss her sweet face!

Wow..its been a little while

I had no intentions of not writing for a few weeks but I guess that's life. I figured today I would give a little update on my Mady girl. She is just has been so fun and absolutley hilarious lately. She makes me laugh everyday, no matter my mood, she has that affect on me. I just adore her to pieces. I figured we would do this in bullet format. Gotta love me some lists! 

*Yesterday Mady and I went to Target to get some supplies for our valentines and for Mady to pick out something for Daddy. She decided she wanted to see how many people would give her high-fives. So, as people walked by she would say, "high-five?!" Oh my goodness. She is not shy at all. Eventually I told her to just say Hi to the people and that seemed to work. So silly.

*We were crafting yesterday. I was being the awesome mom and letting her play with markers, paint, pens, and a heart punch. I think the girl was in heaven, anyways, as we are sitting there she says, "Good Morning Class. Glad to see you today" I just looked at her and asked her what she said. She repeated herself and I just died laughing. She is so random and so funny. So for the rest of the day, she was teacher Mady.

*We had to go to the orthopedic doctor last Thursday for a check up on her hips. She is great, by the way. She LOVES going to the doctor. She was excited about it all day. When the Dr. finally walks in, Mady says, "What's up doctor. It's Me Mady" I just had to smile and shake my head. The doctor just laughed. Then we had to get X-rays done, and Mady told me she was "so escited" to get her x-rays done.

*We were at the park the other day and Mady totally knew what a telescope was. When I asked her where she learned that, she told me George. (Curious George) She is one smart little girl.

*She NEVER stops talking. All day. Every day. She amazes me everyday by telling me all the things she knows.

*She is also very polite. She saw a little girl at the park who had a minnie mouse sweatshirt on and Mady decided she wanted to be friends with this little girl so Mady walked up to her, shook her hand, and said "nice meet you!"

OK I think I bragged enough about my favorite little girl. I wish I could freeze time right now because she is just so much fun!

Snow to 75 degrees in 4 days!

The weather has been crazy around here! Seriously! I think that is why I have yet again another cold with a fever. Yay me. I cannot catch a break. I was healthy for about a week and then last night, bam! hit with another cold. I have been sick since Christmas except for last week. So over this.

Anyways...we had snow on Friday, January 25th. Only maybe an inch but exciting none the less then today it is 75 degrees! Beautiful. Tomorrow is back down into the 40's I believe. Crazy weather...make up your mind!

When we got snow on Friday Mady was so excited! I decided to bundle her up, head out, and let her play for a little while. This is really her first snow since she was a baby baby. We didn't have any last winter. I think I was a little more excited than her though!

 She looks so grown up to me here. All ready for the snow!

 Not too sure how she feels with it all over her mittens...

 Still checking out her mittens...

Time to eat!

We were out there for about 20 minutes. It was cold!!! Mady, of course, did not want to come in so that was fun. We kept asking to go back outside and even attempted to put my boots back on my feet so we could go back out. Silly girl. 

Yesterday was when the weather got really warm. I think it was about 68 degrees and sunny. So we packed up and headed to a huge park. It is awesome! It was packed, of course, but it's so big that it didn't seem that bad. We were there about an hour or so and of course the water works started when we had to leave. 

 Climbing the rock wall

 Mady and Momma

They have this HUGE hill and Mady loves to run up and down it. Good thing Daddy was there because I would not have been able to do it.

We have had a lot of fun the past few days! I love being able to get out and do fun things with Mady and Matt!

Thoughts on Thursday

*It snowed here today for a few hours. It was awesome. Coming from Jersey, where we tend to get a decent amount of snow, to Virginia Beach where it usually rains is sad. Mady was so beyond excited and kept asking if she could go outside and touch it. Of course I let her but it was freezing outside!! I made her put on her gloves, hat, and coat over her cozy pj's. And...we might be getting more tomorrow night. We shall see...

*This pregnancy is kicking my butt still. I still have no desire to really eat which can be a problem. I know it mostly has to do with being sick lately but I really need to gain a few pounds and eat for the baby. When my mom was here she made us a delicious salad! It had grilled chicken, egg, cheese, croutons, and honey mustard dressing!!! I have made it a few times since and it is so good and so filling!

*My hubby has been so busy lately and I miss him so much. He is currently sleeping right now because he had to go to a gun shoot after work this morning and didn't get to sleep until 9:30am. I cannot wait to go on a much needed date with him this weekend sans goob! (She will be thrilled to be hanging out with Franki and Jason!)

*Mady girl has been so fun lately and so grown up to me. She has full on conversations with you and is so beyond polite and cute. Last night we had community group and we had a lot of new people come, which was awesome, anyway, Mady saw Matt and I introducing ourselves and shaking their hands so sweet girl went up to the kiddos and introduced herself as "me mady" and shook their hand. Oh.My.Gosh! Melt my heart sweet girl!

*Mady is finally sleeping until 7 am! That is huge!!! I have my mom to thank for that. When she was here last weekend she was the one who got up with Mady, and she didn't get her up until 7 and now she sleeps until then!! Amazing!

*Getting over this flu is awful. Today is the first day since last Monday that I actually have felt pretty decent. I still have a cough but it is not nearly as bad as it has been. I cannot wait to have some energy back since it really has been gone since November! I want to feel like a normal human being again!

*That's about all I got today. Pretty random assortment! =)

Mom to the Rescue!

We are still on the mend around here. I now have this horrible cough that sounds like I have smoked for 20 years and so much mucus that I am still getting sick from time to time and not eating too much. Mady now has a cough that I am not to fond of and her nose is a constant faucet. Ugh!! This sickness needs to leave...NOW!

My mom decided to come down on Thursday afternoon to help me out. Hubby had called in sick 2 days in a row and he needed to get back to work. I was in no shape to do everything that needs to be done with Mady. Plus, she was pretty worried when we went to the hospital on Wednesday night so she left the next day to come here. I cannot tell you how excited I was to have my mom here and what a truly amazing help she was. She cooked dinner, played/took care of Mady, went shopping, ran errands, cleaned, and so much more. I felt bad we could not do too much since I was still pretty sick. I overdid it on Friday when she was here so that left me housebound on Saturday.

Matt and I had our doctors appointment on Friday. I was anxious to hear the precious babes heartbeat and know that everything was ok. I still haven't gained any weight and instead lost another pound. I asked her about my weight and she was not too concerned especially being that I have been sick and my lack of appetite. She told me what cough medicine I could take and then we listened to the heartbeat. Perfect. In the 150's and she could tell that he/she was moving around. I felt such relief. It was a quick appointment. We go back for the anatomy/gender scan on Feb 15th. I'll be exactly 20 weeks. I wish we didn't have to wait so long but we really can't afford to put out extra money to find out early and that's ok. We will find out soon enough!

It has been such a nice time with my mom here. Just hanging out and enjoying each others company. I am so thankful that she is my mom. I cannot put into words how wonderful she is! I, of course, cried big crocodile tears when she left. I just did not want her to leave and I'm not sure when we will see them again. Everyone has such busy schedules in the next few months but I am praying Mady and I can at least make it up there sooner rather than later. Living away from family is probably one of the hardest things I have gone through. I am praying that we can permanently move back up there soon!!!

Today is another day of rest for us. I cannot wait to feel 100 percent! Lots of cuddles, rest, water, and movies!

Where do I even beginning....

Honestly, I have no idea where to even beginning with all the craziness going on right now. Basically, my poor family, including my pregnant self, has come down with the flu badly. It all started with the hubby. He was sick Sunday, Monday, and part of the day Tuesday. He never really spiked a fever, but had a horrible cough and congestion so I am not 100 % sure he really had the flu. So, I spent those days taking care of him and trying to keep the germs away as much as possible. No such luck.

Tuesday I woke up not feeling the best. I had a small cough but nothing really to write home about. However, I have been sick off and on since Christmas so I was so over all this sickness. Well, when Mady went down for a nap so did I. I woke up feeling like a truck ran me over. I felt awful. Matt decided that we were going to go to Urgent Care since I had been sick for a while and I am almost 16 weeks pregnant. We dropped Mady off at our Savior's house, Franki and Jason while we drove there. I had a slight fever of 100 so they decided to test me for the flu. Guess what?! Positive for Strand B. Awesome. However, the doctor who saw me almost had me in tears and scolding me for not getting the flu shot. Seriously, I walked out of the door to call my mom to let her know and I just burst into tears. He was horrible. I already feel horrible as it is and he just kept going on and on about how I should have gotten the flu shot and that there was nothing they could do for me but try to keep my fever down and take Tylenol every 6 hours to help with that.

By the time we got home, I felt awful! Matt called out of work and he spent the night taking care both of us. I think I slept a total of 3 hours that night and just could not get comfortable or get my fever down. I just wanted to cry. I don't think I have ever been so sick. Haha...that was nothing compared to yesterday.

So, yesterday I notice Mady is sneezing and coughing and feels warm. Again...awesome. But, she was acting completely normal, running around and being crazy. I decided to check her temp. 102. Ugh! So Matt ended up taking her to the doctors that morning and you guessed it positive for Strand A of the Flu! Oh my goodness. Once, she got home, you could tell she was down and out. She fell asleep in my arms and we transferred her to her to bed. She woke up and looked horrible. Plus, she was not letting me give her any meds. We tried to get her to eat a little something but mainly drink. Well, she did that and then 2 seconds later, throw up, everywhere! She is crying hysterically and saying "OH no my juice!" Haha. Oh Madelyn. I love you. I wanted to give her a bath but she was not having it so we just rocked for awhile until she calmed down. Well, by now, I am feeling horrible again and my temp is creeping up to 102 which I know is dangerous for the baby. I attempt to take a bath to cool me down but nothing is working. Then, I start throwing up everything I had eaten that day. Meanwhile, the maintenance man is knocking on our door because our bathtub water is leaking into the apartment below us. Um, not a really good time right now. I am throwing up and Mady is in the bath. Ugh. So, poor Matt is running around like a mad man. Finally, the maintenance guy leaves and I just never have felt so horrible and nothing was bringing my temperature down and I could not stop throwing up even when there was nothing left to throw up so we make the decision to go to the ER.

I wanted to go to the ER where I know my OBGYN doctors are just in case so that is over a half hour away and we have to bring Mady because she tested positive for the flu and we didn't want anyone to catch it from her. Well, we get there and O.M.G it is packed! I made the decision to send Matt home with Mady until it was her bed time then Jason was coming over to watch her or really make sure she was ok when she was sleeping. So, Matt gets back and I had been waiting for about an hour and half. During this time, they took me back to get my temp, pulse, and blood pressure. The nurse said that my pulse was really high and that I was mostly likely dehydrated which I wasn't surprised at then they sent me back to the waiting room. While we were waiting, Matt gets a call from work saying he has to go to some mandatory training at 0400 and he needs to get course work before he can complete the training. He tried to explain that he was at the hospital with his sick wife and basically was told "It is your call if you come or not but I highly suggest coming" so now we have to make the decision if we stay or go because I would have no one to come get me from the hospital if I stay especially if I am discharged in the middle of the night. By now, it has been 3 hours since we got there and I was in tears. I felt horrible. I went up to the reception lady and wanted to know why everyone who came in after me was already being seen and most had left. I was kind of rude, and if you know me, I hardly ever get like that. But I was so pissed. I am 15 weeks pregnant with the flu and dehydrated...would you not think that takes some kind of precedence. So, we left. I cried the whole way home.

Finally, we got home and I took my temperature and thankfully it was 100.7 so I felt better because I was scared it was going to be really high. I took 2 Tylenol and headed to bed. Thankfully, I slept somewhat decent last night. Poor hubby had to get up at 2:30 am after getting maybe 3 hours of sleep and after the day he had running around. I know he was so upset with work making him choose over keeping his job and the healthy of his wife and baby. But I was the one who decided to leave because he would have stayed. He was really upset that something was going to happen to the baby because we decided to leave. Poor guy. I felt so bad. Thankfully I have a doctors appt tomorrow and I am super anxious to hear the baby's heart beat and know that everything is ok. Also, my fever broke this morning so I am so thankful for that. I woke up so sweaty and knew that the fever was gone.

My mom is headed here today and I cannot tell you how thankful I am that she is coming. Matt is at work right now and all I want to do is go back to bed but that is kind of hard to do with a crazy Mady girl running around. So we could use your prayers. For our health and for the baby. I am praying that he or she is totally fine and we will have good news to report tomorrow.

It has been a whirlwind past few days...ready for this sickness to leave and never come back!

Sunday morning rambling...

It's Sunday morning, the hubby is at drill, Mady is watching House of Mouse on the computer, and I have been laying on the couch watching Income Property. Exciting morning I tell ya. But honestly, its nice. Relaxing. It's cloudy out. Lots of Fog. It's just the kind of morning that calls for your pjs, watching TV/computer, and just quietness. I love it. I just miss my hubby.

He has been super busy with traveling, work, and the Navy that I feel like I have not had much of a chance to see him lately and I miss him. He is my bestest friend and it gets lonely when he is gone so much. But, he is amazing and works so hard for us. I am so beyond proud of him. I just miss him...

Things have been busy yet boring around here. New opportunities possible with some major changes in a short amount of time. Not sure of anything yet so I don't want to put it out there. Praying things work out though even with all the short term stress its going to cause.

Other than that not much going on. Mady is awesome, funny, and constantly on the go. She counted to 10 yesterday by herself. I was so excited then she wouldn't do it for Matt, of course! Stinker! She loves playing with her blocks and babies. She is so sweet with them and it makes me wonder if she will be the same way when the baby comes. I sure hope so.

I am 15 weeks and 2 days today. I have an appointment on Friday and I always look forward to going so I can hear that sweet heartbeat and know that so far, so good. I felt the baby move a few times this past week or what I thought was movement but I don't know what else it could have been. My belly continues to grow but is in that cute little belly stage which I love. I should take a picture. I was so bad at that with Mady. I think I took about 2 pictures because I hated the way I looked. I regret that now because looking back I really didn't look bad. I tend to get a chunky face so I think that is what bothers me the most. I am really looking forward to finding out what this little one is. With Mady I knew, without a doubt, she was a girl. This baby, I go back and forth so I am really curious who is in there! We have potential names but nothing set in stone. There really is no name that I LOVE! Matt picked Mady's name and I fell in love with it and now I cannot picture her as anything else!

Anyways, I am rambling now. There are so many times I want to sit and write but I don't know what I want to write about or what I really should put out there. So this is just a random, general update on what's going on.

Looking forward to my hubby coming home from drill even though the poor guy is so sick! and enjoying some football today with him! I love Sundays with my two favorite people!!

Doctor, Doctor!

These past few weeks have been hard. I have had this stupid cold that has lingered for about 2 and 1/2 weeks now. So my husband and mom made me call the doctor today. I really hate calling the doctor because I always feel like I am asking a stupid question or being annoying. My mom had to remind me "You are paying for their services...you need to call them!" Ok, mom, ok!

So I called and everyone was super nice. Basically she told me what medicine was ok to take but was concerned with my lack of eating and the flu going around. SO, she gave me 1-2 days to take the medicine and feel better and if not to go get tested for the flu. UGH! I honestly don't think I have the flu. I don't have a fever or the body aches/chills. I think it is a bad sinus infection. 

See the main problem I have been having is tons of mucus that drips into my stomach (lovely...right?!) and makes me so nauseous and not hungry which leads to these horrible, debilitating headaches...vicious cycle! It also leads to me to throwing up mucus most morning. So I am trying my hardest to keep eating whatever sounds appealing which isn't much and try to kick whatever I have to the curb! 

The hubby has to go up to DE tomorrow for a work related thing that is overnight, and he is taking the car that is reliable (duh). So,that leaves me home alone with Mady for 2 days. The nurse on the phone said the main goal is medicine, rest, and fluids. Ha.Ha.Ha. on the rest aspect. I am just hoping I can survive the next 2 days or at least start to feel better because this whole thing is getting old! I am so tired of having no energy! 

The things we do for our babies, both in the world and in the womb! 

On a more positive note, I will be 14 weeks and 6 days tomorrow so that is always exciting. Also, I'm pretty sure I have felt this little one kick or move around a few times. I love feeling that! We should be finding out the gender soon enough and I am super excited about that. 

Mady has been super cute when I ask her what is in my belly. She loves to hug and kiss it. The other day she wanted to sit on the babies lap. Ha. Silly girl. She also wants the baby to play with her already. Soon enough!

So let's hope the medicine does it's job because I really don't feel like going to the doctor or being sick for much longer!

Just some thoughts

*Tomorrow I will be 14 weeks! Once we hit mid-December I felt like this pregnancy was going quickly. Before then, horribly slow! We should find out the gender of the baby around mid February. We aren't paying to find out early so we will just wait until the anatomy scan. Currently, and I guess, for most of this pregnancy I am team boy. It is just so different than my pregnancy with Mady so we shall see. I know the hubby wants a boy but, as always, we truly just want a healthy baby.

*I had my first "omg we are having another baby but Mady will always be my baby" episode. Of course I started crying. She is just my everyday buddy. We really do everything together and I don't want her to think that I don't have time for her or that the baby is more important. I know these are typical and normal feelings but still it kind of broke my heart a little bit.

*Sorry this post will be boring since I haven't really taken any pictures lately.

*I had so much energy on New Years Day, I went kind of crazy with cleaning, purging, and cooking.  I am still getting over a cold so I shouldn't have went so crazy because I have really felt it the last two days. But I have not had that kind of energy in months! It felt so good to deep clean my bathroom and kitchen as well as making a delicious home cooked meal of chicken pot pie...delicious!

*Sleep has been for the birds lately. For whatever reason, I sleep so well for the first 4-5 hours and then I am awake tossing and turning until the hubby gets home from work or I hear Mady yelling from her crib. I have been taking a nap almost everyday because I am just so darn tired. Stupid sleep!

*Mady's new phrase is "I sure did!" I asked her the other day if had finished her banana and her reply was, "I sure did!" She now uses that phrase all the time. I have no idea where she comes up with this stuff. It is so funny. What is crazy to me is how well she uses the correct words in the correct context. She makes me laugh everyday with her crazy antics. My life was so boring before her! =)

*It felt good to undecorate this year. Usually I am sad about taking it all down but this year not so much. Mady was an absolute terror during the month of December. I'm not sure if it had to do with Christmas and all the excitement over everything but oh my Lordy! Plus, I like having a clean, clutter-free living room. Once November rolls around, I am always ready and anxious to get everything out!

*Mady is napping and I think it might be time to take one myself. It is just one of those cold, dreary, and cloudy days...perfect napping weather!

It has been a year!

This past year, 2012, has been a doozy. It probably was one of the hardest years I have been through and Matt and I have been through together. However, this year has taught us so many lessons which I am truly grateful for now. I am excited for the new year. I like the feeling January 1st brings. A fresh start. New opportunities. New outlooks.

This past year we moved away from where Matt and I grew up, went to college, and had our daughter. We moved away from family who we love and were super close to. We came to Virginia, not knowing anyone, not knowing the area, or what was in store for us. Oh boy...

We moved into a crappy apartment that had so many problems, smelled horrible, and had cockroaches. Our fuse box caught on fire and we were basically homeless for 24 hours in the dead heat of summer. It was horrible to say the least. Thankfully we were able to get out of that terrible situation and into a better place and area.

We moved down here so hubby could take a job that he thought he would like and lead to better opportunities. That's not exactly how it turned out. He has a great attitude about it most days even though I know he is not happy there. Also, the pay is horrible and we struggled financially. However, the Lord always provided.

We sold one of our cars to then realize that it was a bad decision for us at the time. This led to a month and half of Mady and I with no car, no where to go, and really no friends. It was a depressing and hard few months. Then the car troubles continued when we found out that Matt's check engine light problem would cost us close to 1000 dollars. But, it was the only car at the time...we needed to get it fixed. Again, the Lord provided. Thankfully, in the beginning of June, with some help from people we love, we were able to purchase another car and become a 2 car family again. Praise the Lord!

August came and so did more disappointment, unfortunately. Matt had been interviewing and going through a process with a job he had his heart set on since February. Everything was falling into place and it looked like he was able to land an awesome job and opportunity until we got a letter in the mail saying he did not get the job. We were dumbfounded and caught completely off guard. It was a tough few days but we felt the Lord's peace and slowly moved forward. Looking back now, we are thankful he didn't get that job for many different reasons. The Lord had us in his hands.

I struggled with missing my parents and everything in New Jersey that felt like home to me. There were many days of more tears than smiles. Matt and I struggled to make true friendships down here. We thought we had made some great friends until somehow, someway things fell through. It was a weird honestly and still confuses me but, the Lord had different friends in mind for us.

Things started to turn around for us in September. We finally got our community group up and running and met some fabulous people who love us and our daughter so much. We feel truly blessed to have met them. We finally feel connected.

Then in October we found out we were pregnant with number 2 that is due in late June. We are beyond excited and thrilled for this new little gift. Hubby is interviewing for a new job closer to family and we will know in the mid to late January if that is a go, and if not, well then the Lord has something better in mind for us.

Throughout this year, I have seen the Lord's hand in our lives more so than ever before. He has guided us, mended our hurt hearts, brought us closer together as husband and wife, and to him. He has provided for us in every way that we needed. It may not have been easy year by a long shot but He was there, right beside us the whole time. As much as I am looking forward to this new year, I am thankful for this difficult year. (and trust me, it takes a lot for me to write that and believe it) The Lord used it to shape and mold us more like Him.

It's been a while....

So yeah it has been a few weeks since I last posted. Things were busy with Christmas approaching, traveling to NJ, celebrating Christmas and all the festivities with family, finally feeling better pregnancy wise, and a stupid cold that has lingered for a week now.

So, I'll do my best to recap the past few weeks for you. It may be a long one...with lots of pictures. =)

So on December 22, Mady woke up to an early Santa visit since we were leaving for New Jersey the following morning. She was so excited! I loved her reaction. She walked into the living room and exclaimed, "YES! Santa presents!" So we had a busy morning opening and playing with every present Santa brought her. 

 Christmas Tree

 One happy girl with her light up Minnie high heels.

Shaking the present

The following morning we packed up and headed to NJ. Nice 5 1/2 hour ride. We were all excited and anxious to get there. We spent the day just hanging out, going for walks, and enjoying each others company. I love and cherish those days. It makes me so happy to see how much Mady enjoys my parents. 

Getting ready to go on a walk with Nana. Love this pictures of her!

The next day was Christmas Eve. I woke up not feeling the best but I chalked it up to dry heat and a bad night sleep. It was time to go get rolls with my dad! My mom hosts Christmas Eve and usually has meatball sandwiches and lunch meat so rolls are a must. It has become a tradition for us. The roll place we go to used to be packed, and so busy you would literally have to fight to get some rolls and stand in a forever long line to check out. We loved it! The past few years it hasn't been so busy but we still enjoy going together. We haven't missed a year yet!

Me and my Daddy!

The rest of the day we just relaxed, played, and got ready for my family to come over that night. We had delicious food and great company. I still wasn't feeling well and I think fell asleep on the couch around 8:30, watching none other than A Christmas Story. Family tradition.

 Helping Nana get ready....or really just being sneaky...

 Mady and Uncle T!

 It snowed on Christmas Eve!!! I was so beyond excited. It didn't last long but it was so magical to me.

 Mady was in awe of the snow. So beyond precious.

 Christmas Eve with my family.

Mady and Daddy in the snow. =)

Christmas Morning was early. Haha. Mady doesn't sleep the best when we are other places so she was up bright and early. I think we started opening presents at 6:10ish. Haha. I know my brothers loved that. Mady loved opening the presents but then she wanted to play with everything she opened. So, she took a little break to play some play dough while we opened some of our presents.

Mady finally finished opening her presents and everyone was spoiled. I think my mom had the best Christmas though. She got a new iPod from my brother and the Kindle Fire from my dad! She was so excited! 

 Very excited!

Shocked!

We played the rest of the morning with Mady and all her toys. Took a nap, got ready, and then headed to Matt's parents house for Christmas number 2 and some dinner. Same deal again. Opening presents, spending time with family, and yummy food. 

 Pretty Girl

 Opening some presents

 Helping Pop with his present

 Mady and her new friend, Mr. Gorilla. Thanks to Uncle Jake and Aunt April. 

 Love this picture...and hello baby bump!!

Kisses!!

Overall, it was a great Christmas. We had a wonderful time spent with people we love. We did miss Matt's two sister who were in FL. Aunt Megs and Aunt Melissa!!! We love you!

Hubby had to head home on Wednesday for work and Mady and I stayed behind for the week. I am so beyond thankful that we stayed, not only to hang out with family but because I got a horrible cold and being pregnant we cannot take any medicine besides Tylenol. Ugh. My momma was a rockstar, like usual. She took care of Mady and myself. I really couldn't have done it without her because I was down and out. So thankful for her and her selflessness. 

We had a fun week though shopping, playing, and eating my mom's wonderful cooking. We were sad to leave but excited to come home and see daddy! We missed him so much. 

As always, such a wonderful week with wonderful people.

And.

I can't believe next Christmas we will have two kiddos to spoil and love on!

Finally! and an update

Blogger finally is letting me upload pictures. Stupid blogger.

Anyways... It has been a busy past few weeks around here and I am ready for it all to slow down. I am also ready for December 23rd....because...we are heading to Jersey for the holidays!!!!!! Mady and I will be staying the week with my mom and dad while hubby has to head home the day after Christmas. But I am thankful he even has Christmas off because for the longest time they told him "no" when he put in his annual leave. There may have been some tears shed over that one but it all worked out in the end!

I feel like a total "blah" this Christmas season. Usually I am all about making crafts, baking, seeing lights, shopping, wrapping, all the good stuff but this year....eh. Most likely has to do with the fact that I am still not feeling the best but definitely better than I had been. Thank you Jesus! My nausea is pretty good all day until about 5:30. Like.on.the.dot. Everyday. Poor hubby...dinner around here has been sparse. I am currently 10 weeks and I think 5 days...but I'm not sure. Poor second baby.

Let's see....We had Matt's unit Christmas Party on Sunday. Mady was the only kiddo there and stole the spotlight as usual. We were there, at Texas Roadhouse, for about 2 hours before the meltdowns started and we had to leave a little early. That is pretty good for her. She was pretty well behaved.

This kept her busy for a little while. She transferred peanuts from one bucket to the other. A few of them may have been licked....just sayin'

What else...

We have watched some Christmas movies, Elf, in particular because my child is slightly obsessed. Like she may know what part is coming next. The other day we were playing with her kitchen which is out of sight of the TV, Elf was on in the background, and she heard the school bell ding and she turns to me and says, "Boys momma, throw snow" and sure enough they have a snow ball fight after school in the movie. 

We also have been baking some cookies. Mady loves, loves, loves to bake. She talks about it all the time and I truly love having her help me even if that means more of a mess. We made cut-out sugar cookies the other night and even Daddy helped. It was such a fun time...again...even if my child licked half of the cookie dough cut outs. 

We finally had Mady's 2 year old well visit. I know only a month late. She is doing awesome! The doctor was super impressed with her. Makes my momma heart smile. She weighs 25 lbs and is 33 inches long. She is a peanut but the cutest one out there. Funny Mady story. They had to take her in the hall way to weigh and measure her. When they were finished, she ran back into the room and yelled "DONE!" It was so funny. She makes herself at home most places we go.

I still have to finish my Christmas shopping which I am hoping to finish this weekend with the hubby's help. Mady is all bought for and wrapped. The kitchen we got her was both a birthday and Christmas gift so she has just some small presents but more than enough. I am excited to see her and how she reacts on Christmas morning. I know she is going to love it! 

It's a rainy and chilly day here and I love it! Mady and I are still in our jammies and currently enjoying Beauty and the Beast. Time to go enjoy the movie with her. 

Happy Wednesday!!!

Much about nothing

*Not a whole lot going on around these parts. Still feeling pretty sick and my lack of sleep have left me in a pretty cranky mood lately. Poor hubby. I hope things start on the upward trend soon because I am over this part of the pregnancy. I am not one who really enjoys the whole being pregnant thing. And I already have a belly...what?! I'm only 9 and 1/2 weeks. 

*When Mady wakes up every morning we have to plug in the Christmas tree lights. I think those darn lights aren't going to make it until Christmas. We have them on all the time. 

*Speaking of Christmas Tree's, funny story about our old one. Matt and I bought it when we first got married so we have to used it every year besides last year when it sat in storage so when we went to put it together this year we were missing 2 of the 4 pieces for the bottom. Well, we already told Mady we were going to put it up and she was so excited so we tried to put the tree up just on the 2 legs. Kinda lopsided but my mom found the last 2 pieces at her house so she sent them to us but the stupid tree was still not standing right. Then one morning Mady decided to try to move an ornament and the whole darn tree fell over and broke...at 6 in the morning. Tree pieces everywhere, lights, ornaments...ugh. Mady cried. She was so sad. So what did momma do? We headed to Target in our pj's to get another tree! Thank goodness they were still having their black Friday sale so we got a decent price. Win-Win.

*Stupid blogger is telling my I am out of storage for pictures hence the lack of pictures in this post. I'll have to look into it later. Grrr

*I love when Mady refers to herself as "me mady" So cute.

*My house needs a major, desperate deep cleaning. I have felt so crummy lately that nothing has gotten done. I need to clean the bathroom, wash the kitchen floor, do laundry, vacuum, and dust to name a few. Ugh. I need my energy to come back asap!

*Mady and I were watching Elf the other night and my poor child cried when Buddy the Elf floated away on the iceburg to go to NYC. I felt so bad! She was seriously so sad he left. She kept saying "Don't cry, don't cry" and had tears streaming down her face. Poor girl. However, we have now watched Elf about 5 times since the other day. She has not been scared for life!

*I think I might attempt to bake some Christmas cookies today. Usually, by now, I have made at least a few. I have falling behind this year but it could be because I cannot stand the sight of food or standing for a long period of time. I have some energy to day so I will see what we can get accomplished!

*I cannot wait for my Old Navy order to get here so I have some maternity jeans to wear! It is kind of hard to dress yourself when all you can wear is sweatpants or leggings and when those said pieces are in the laundry basket to be washed...dilemma. Good thing Mady and I have no plans today.

*I think every bullet in this post is about pregnancy or Christmas. I guess those are the only two exciting things going on in my life right now. Haha!

It was a good morning

I needed yesterday morning. I needed it really badly. 

Mady and I had a mommy daughter date to Panera. 

Things have been really tough with Madelyn lately. To the point the other day I was crying to Matt that I didn't like my child right now. She doesn't listen to me. Runs away from me and laughs when I am trying to get her dressed or change her diaper. On top of the fact that I have been feeling horrible so my patience level has been at a zero.

So yesterday I got myself ready, actually put on make-up, blow dried by hair, and put on clothes other than my husband's sweatpants.

We headed to Panera because bagels right now are my go to meal if I'm really hungry (which I am almost all the time...ugh!) and recently I found out how much Mady loves bagels too.

Oh and she had to bring her own purse into Panera with us and I cannot tell you the amount of comments we received. It was seriously so cute.

We both ordered plain bagels with cream cheese, water for me, and apple juice for goobie girl.
And we sat and ate and chatted about all the Christmas stuff she saw in the restaurant. It made my heart smile.

It was such a fun morning. She was so well-behaved and had all the cute old ladies just giddy over her. It was a morning I definitely needed. Fun times. Good food. My awesome daughter. Actually feeling human. Special memories.

*I would upload pictures right now but stupid blogger isn't letting me*

Special day

I had every intention of writing yesterday after our doctors appointment but needless to say that didn't happen. Feeling so sick, major headache, and in bed by 8:30 definitely contributed to no post yesterday.

But....BABY LOOKS WONDERFUL!

My appointment was at 1 yesterday afternoon and my stomach was in knots all day waiting for the appointment. I could not relax for the life of me. I tried laying down, reading a book, watching TV. I let my hubby take care of Mady yesterday. We took a trip to Target...anything to get my mind off the appointment. Ugh. 

Finally it was time to leave and a complete sense of peace came over me. I knew people were praying because I could feel it. I got to the doctors and just knew everything was going to be ok. Thankfully we didn't have to wait long and the ultrasound tech came to get us. As soon as she put that wand on my belly and I saw my baby, I just smiled. Then I saw the little flicker on the screen...there was his/her heart beat. Everything measured exactly accurate to my due date and the little peanut looked great! I held Matts hand the whole time and just kept squeezing it because I was just so excited and relieved. 

Then we had to wait a little while to see the doctor which was amazing! My experience with Mady's doctors were horrible. No personality, no bed side manner, nothing. I felt stupid asking questions and this time around I had no problem voicing my concerns and she was wonderful in answering all my questions. 

Matt and I decided to have a repeat C-section for a few reasons and the doctor agreed completely. I was thankful we were on the same page. They take repeat C-section patients at 39 weeks so this little babe will be born at the end of June which to be honest I am very thankful for. Because this little ones due date is our wedding anniversary and I really did not want to share that day. Just being real....haha.

So all in all yesterday was a great day! Of course, they printed us out about 10 pictures but I am too lazy to post them this morning. They are hanging nicely on our refrigerator where Mady's little curious hands cannot get to them.

So thank you to everyone who prayed for Matt, I and the baby yesterday. Your prayers were definitely felt. 

Now today can be a great day celebrating my birthday!

Anxious Thoughts

I am an anxious person by nature. I think about all possible scenarios in a certain circumstance and always believe the worst is going to happen. It is really hard for me to control. I let my mind wander way too much some days. 

Being pregnant just adds to those anxious tendencies. I have such a fear of miscarrying. Some days it can consume my thoughts and the craziest thing can bring those thoughts on. I had a great pregnancy with Mady but that does not guarantee that this one will be the same. I feel like I know so much more this time around and I long for the naive, 1st time mom thoughts. Sure, last time, I was just as nervous until I saw my little baby on that ultrasound machine. I remember not being able to hear her heartbeat because my own heartbeat was so loud in my ears. 

Tuesday at 1 pm cannot come soon enough. I am so anxious to see my baby. To see it growing. To see/hear its heart beating. 

But the thing is I have had no signs of possible miscarriage. No loss of pregnancy symptoms(more like the opposite), no bleeding, no cramping...nothing but still my mind plays game with itself. 

My greatest fear is that the ultrasound tech will measure the baby and it will be significantly behind or have no heart beat. Just being honest here. I have a hard time getting excited for this baby until I see that he or she is ok. That they are alive in there and growing.

My husband and mom probably want to kill me with the amount of time I talk about my fears because honestly it can get out of control. I need to trust that the Lord has a plan for this baby, whatever that may be. I pray for this baby daily that it is growing healthy and safe. It is all I can do besides take care of myself which I must admit is difficult this time around while chasing a very energetic 2 year old around.

So if you think of Matt and I on Tuesday, the 27th, specifically at 1 pm would you just say a quick prayer for us. For peace and that everything would be ok with the precious little one growing inside of me. 

I promise to report back after the ultrasound...whatever the outcome is.

Positive thoughts, Positive thoughts...

Gobble til you Wobble

This years Thanksgiving was very different from previous years. It was the first time it was not spent with family but instead friends. I did miss my family a lot yesterday but I was thankful we had such a great day with fun people.

It was a low key Thanksgiving and I was truly thankful for that. With the way I have been feeling lately and my lack of clothes that currently fit, I was grateful for some leggings, sneakers, and a zip up sweat shirt. We all brought a few side dishes and/or a dessert and lovely Linda made the turkey. It was delicious! I was actually hungry and able to eat some of the deliciousness food so I was thankful for that.

Of course, I have no pictures of this thanksgiving because some little girl, who's name I will not mention, broke my camera a few weeks ago and we have not replaced it yet. Ugh! Anyways...we had a buffet style and all sat around to eat while the kids ran around like crazy people...oh wait that was just my child. 

After dinner, the guys went into the other room to watch football and the girls sat at the dinner table and talked for the next 2 hours while the little ones played and went outside. 

Mady was somewhat of a terror. She gets so excited to play with toys she doesn't have and to play with Linda's kids that she would not eat or listen to really anything Matt or I told her to do. By 4:30, I had had enough and we packed up and headed home all the while Mady is crying because she is so sad to leave. She finally crashed in the car. Praise Jesus! 

When we got home, I was beyond ready to put her to bed. She was so cranky! She made it until 6:30 until Matt and I both had enough of the constant whining and crying for no reason. Matt and I watched some football before I fell asleep on the couch at 7:30 and the hubby was getting ready to go to work because he is awesome like that. 

I was in bed by 8:20. Exciting night I tell ya! I tried so hard to, at least, stay awake until 9 so I was not up at 5 but no such luck last night. My body was exhausted and I was so nauseous, I figured sleep was the only way to help with that. 

This is the first year also Matt and I did not head out Black Friday shopping and with the way I am feeling right now, that is fine and dandy with me. I did some shopping online at Kohls and that's about it. However, if I am feeling better later, I might try to convince the hubby to go out later. We shall see.

I hope everyone had a wonderful and thankful Thanksgiving!

7 weeks and this baby is kicking my butt!

7 week and 2 days...

and...

I am feeling awful!

Man I thought I had it bad with Mady girl well this Baby # 2 is proving me wrong. Very wrong.

So beyond tired that I go to bed at 8 pm and usually sleep when Mady takes a nap.

Then I am awake at 5:30 am...vicious cycle I tell you.

Nauseous all day long (although the worst is into the afternoon and dinner time..yuck!)

Something sounds so yummy one day and then if I think about it the next day it makes me want to throw up.

My sense of smell is out of control.

I cannot tell you how many times I ask Matt if he smells that and he looks at me like I am a crazy pregnant lady and usually the answer is "nooooo...."

Right now I will never eat waffles or gold fish again....you can guess why. 

Water is the only drink that sounds good. 

The only craving I really have is anything potato. Fries, chips, mashed. Different from Mady because I LOVED chocolate chip cookies and milk. 

So yeah this baby is kicking my butt but I am so thankful for this little blessing inside of me. I cannot wait until the 27th of Nov (the day before my birthday) to see this little baby on the ultrasound machine. I am super anxious about it. I just wan to see its little heart beating and then I can breathe a sigh of relief. 

7 weeks 2 day down....many, many, many more to go.