overwhelmed.

I know I keep saying this but things have been so crazy lately and I am not exactly sure when they will slow down. But you see, I don't do well in stressful situations, and I feel like that is all I have been dealing with lately.

Mady and I are finally back in Virginia for the next 2 weeks to pack up the apartment, tie up some loose ends, and finally sell the stupid Volvo (for real...I would love to light the stupid thing on fire...) We drove back on Wednesday morning in the worst storm possible. I was driving our little Mazda 3 and the wind was out of control. Seriously my car was all over the road. It was a long 5 and 1/2 hour drive. Thankfully we made it home in one piece and Mady was such a good girl the whole way, even when the DVD player decided it did not want to work anymore. However, it is lonely here. I have a lot to get done but there is ZERO adult interaction and it kills me. I only get to talk to Matt, maybe 20 minutes to 30 minutes in a whole day. He started the police academy on Monday and has been under so much pressure and stress so I totally understand but I still miss him so much.

Bottom line: I cannot wait to move to Delaware and be back together again. Mady misses her Daddy and I miss my husband. Beyond.Words!

Then I think about baby # 2. I forgot about 90% of the time I am pregnant until I feel her wonderful kicks and movements or until I am so exhausted and tired from packing that I need to sit down for the rest of the night. Plus add on top of that my lovely energetic 2 year old who constantly asks to play all day and I feel so badly telling her I have x, y, and z to get done then mommy can play. I just am under such a time crunch and am the only one packing everything up. Stressful.

Matt will be so busy with the police academy that I am dreading the transition from one to two kids. Trust me, I am beyond excited to meet little miss Maci Lee but I am also terrified because I know it will be all me for most of the time. I am worried about how I am going to handle such a big change. Like I have said before I don't do well with change and let me just tell you moving to a new state, your husband getting a brand new job, and having a baby is not for the faint of heart. Ha!  Thankfully we will be about an hour and half from parents so my mom, I know, will be a huge help.

I just have all these thoughts swirling around in my little brain. I needed to write, and vent and usually I feel somewhat better. Sorry this is a debbie downer post but I needed to get my thoughts on paper.

Ok vent session over.

Scenes from the past few days

I have a ton of pictures on my iphone so I figured I would put some on here and catch you up on what is going on around here. Honestly, not too much. We are kind of in limbo, waiting on some news, and it has us feeling restless. Praying that we hear today, one way or the other. I promise to update everyone when we know more. I know, I know, I'm being vague. Sorry!

Anyways...here are a few pictures of what has been going on with us.

The other day we were at Target (duh!) and I finally decided to start potty training with Mady. She has honestly been asking for a few days and I just wasn't sure if either of us were truly ready. Well I figured we would buy the big girl underwear and see how it went. *I think I had a little bit too high expectations because she had been all about it* Big.Fat.Fail. We kept putting her on the potty with no success and then when she knew she needed to go, she would run in her room and pee on her floor in her princess underwear. The first time, ok. It was an accident. The second time, I knew girlfriend knew what she was doing and I was annoyed. So, we quit potty training for now. We will attempt again in a little while. Can you tell she is a little stubborn?!

These two pictures melt my heart. Now that I sit down and think about this past week, it has been a difficult one with Mady. Lots of whining, and being plain out mean, especially to Matt. For no real reason. She is all of a sudden so clingy to me again. The other night she wanted to play with daddy! They colored and then had a dance party to Mumford and Sons. It was so cute. They are my heart and soul. I love these two more than words.

Yesterday we headed to the mall to get a "mall pretzel" (as Mady says) and just walk around a little bit. We had no real agenda. We bought an outfit for Mady and a few things for Maci. Since she is a summer baby and my Mady girl was a fall baby their clothes are in opposite seasons and plus I wanted to pick something up just for Maci girl. Let the shopping begin! =)

 

 Mady loves watching "Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood" on PBS and it really is such a cute show. Well yesterday he was having a sleep over so Mady decided she was going to have a sleep over as well with all her stuffed animals. It was so cute. I love watching her when she imaginary plays. I love hearing what she says and how she pretends. And yes, she is only in a diaper. We have this new thing where we love to be naked and run around like crazy (her words, not mine)

It's a......

So on Friday Hubby and I went for our gender/anatomy scan. I was super nervous. I just wanted to make sure the baby was okay with how much I have been sick lately. As soon as she put the wand on my belly all my fears went away. She asked us if we wanted to know what we were having and I said YES! She also asked if we had an idea one way or another. We both said Boy but not with a lot of confidence. This pregnancy just has been so different than mine with Mady girl so I figured it must be a boy. Plus, I had countless dreams that it was a boy until the night before the ultrasound, I had a dream it was a girl. So really I had no idea. 

She could tell right away and asked us names. Then she wrote what it was on the ultrasound machine.

It's a......

GIRL!

A healthy and beautiful Maci Lee will be joining our family at the end of June! 

My hubby just laughed and had the biggest smile on his face. I know he was a little disappointed it wasn't a boy. But he is the best daddy to Mady. I always tell him it takes a very special man to have two daughters and I truly believe it does. He is going to be wonderful with both of them! 

I officially have yet to gain any weight. Actually I am still at -2 lbs from when I first got pregnant. But this baby...she has no problem gaining weight. She weighs 15 oz! Yeah, that is in the 97%! So basically, it is no big deal but they will do another growth scan at 32 weeks to make sure she is not 100 lbs. =)  She is also breech which is the way Mady was at 20 weeks too and never turned. So I must birth big, breech girl babies who then become this petite little girls. The breech thing doesn't worry me too much because I am already having a scheduled C-section but because Mady was breech, we dealt with hip dysplasia and was in a harness for her first 3 months. It was not fun at all but it is totally fixable. So, I am trying not to worry about that fact. 

So my Mady girl 

is going to be the best girl Sister to Maci Lee! 

We already can't wait to meet her and kiss her sweet face!

Wow..its been a little while

I had no intentions of not writing for a few weeks but I guess that's life. I figured today I would give a little update on my Mady girl. She is just has been so fun and absolutley hilarious lately. She makes me laugh everyday, no matter my mood, she has that affect on me. I just adore her to pieces. I figured we would do this in bullet format. Gotta love me some lists! 

*Yesterday Mady and I went to Target to get some supplies for our valentines and for Mady to pick out something for Daddy. She decided she wanted to see how many people would give her high-fives. So, as people walked by she would say, "high-five?!" Oh my goodness. She is not shy at all. Eventually I told her to just say Hi to the people and that seemed to work. So silly.

*We were crafting yesterday. I was being the awesome mom and letting her play with markers, paint, pens, and a heart punch. I think the girl was in heaven, anyways, as we are sitting there she says, "Good Morning Class. Glad to see you today" I just looked at her and asked her what she said. She repeated herself and I just died laughing. She is so random and so funny. So for the rest of the day, she was teacher Mady.

*We had to go to the orthopedic doctor last Thursday for a check up on her hips. She is great, by the way. She LOVES going to the doctor. She was excited about it all day. When the Dr. finally walks in, Mady says, "What's up doctor. It's Me Mady" I just had to smile and shake my head. The doctor just laughed. Then we had to get X-rays done, and Mady told me she was "so escited" to get her x-rays done.

*We were at the park the other day and Mady totally knew what a telescope was. When I asked her where she learned that, she told me George. (Curious George) She is one smart little girl.

*She NEVER stops talking. All day. Every day. She amazes me everyday by telling me all the things she knows.

*She is also very polite. She saw a little girl at the park who had a minnie mouse sweatshirt on and Mady decided she wanted to be friends with this little girl so Mady walked up to her, shook her hand, and said "nice meet you!"

OK I think I bragged enough about my favorite little girl. I wish I could freeze time right now because she is just so much fun!

Snow to 75 degrees in 4 days!

The weather has been crazy around here! Seriously! I think that is why I have yet again another cold with a fever. Yay me. I cannot catch a break. I was healthy for about a week and then last night, bam! hit with another cold. I have been sick since Christmas except for last week. So over this.

Anyways...we had snow on Friday, January 25th. Only maybe an inch but exciting none the less then today it is 75 degrees! Beautiful. Tomorrow is back down into the 40's I believe. Crazy weather...make up your mind!

When we got snow on Friday Mady was so excited! I decided to bundle her up, head out, and let her play for a little while. This is really her first snow since she was a baby baby. We didn't have any last winter. I think I was a little more excited than her though!

 She looks so grown up to me here. All ready for the snow!

 Not too sure how she feels with it all over her mittens...

 Still checking out her mittens...

Time to eat!

We were out there for about 20 minutes. It was cold!!! Mady, of course, did not want to come in so that was fun. We kept asking to go back outside and even attempted to put my boots back on my feet so we could go back out. Silly girl. 

Yesterday was when the weather got really warm. I think it was about 68 degrees and sunny. So we packed up and headed to a huge park. It is awesome! It was packed, of course, but it's so big that it didn't seem that bad. We were there about an hour or so and of course the water works started when we had to leave. 

 Climbing the rock wall

 Mady and Momma

They have this HUGE hill and Mady loves to run up and down it. Good thing Daddy was there because I would not have been able to do it.

We have had a lot of fun the past few days! I love being able to get out and do fun things with Mady and Matt!

Thoughts on Thursday

*It snowed here today for a few hours. It was awesome. Coming from Jersey, where we tend to get a decent amount of snow, to Virginia Beach where it usually rains is sad. Mady was so beyond excited and kept asking if she could go outside and touch it. Of course I let her but it was freezing outside!! I made her put on her gloves, hat, and coat over her cozy pj's. And...we might be getting more tomorrow night. We shall see...

*This pregnancy is kicking my butt still. I still have no desire to really eat which can be a problem. I know it mostly has to do with being sick lately but I really need to gain a few pounds and eat for the baby. When my mom was here she made us a delicious salad! It had grilled chicken, egg, cheese, croutons, and honey mustard dressing!!! I have made it a few times since and it is so good and so filling!

*My hubby has been so busy lately and I miss him so much. He is currently sleeping right now because he had to go to a gun shoot after work this morning and didn't get to sleep until 9:30am. I cannot wait to go on a much needed date with him this weekend sans goob! (She will be thrilled to be hanging out with Franki and Jason!)

*Mady girl has been so fun lately and so grown up to me. She has full on conversations with you and is so beyond polite and cute. Last night we had community group and we had a lot of new people come, which was awesome, anyway, Mady saw Matt and I introducing ourselves and shaking their hands so sweet girl went up to the kiddos and introduced herself as "me mady" and shook their hand. Oh.My.Gosh! Melt my heart sweet girl!

*Mady is finally sleeping until 7 am! That is huge!!! I have my mom to thank for that. When she was here last weekend she was the one who got up with Mady, and she didn't get her up until 7 and now she sleeps until then!! Amazing!

*Getting over this flu is awful. Today is the first day since last Monday that I actually have felt pretty decent. I still have a cough but it is not nearly as bad as it has been. I cannot wait to have some energy back since it really has been gone since November! I want to feel like a normal human being again!

*That's about all I got today. Pretty random assortment! =)

Mom to the Rescue!

We are still on the mend around here. I now have this horrible cough that sounds like I have smoked for 20 years and so much mucus that I am still getting sick from time to time and not eating too much. Mady now has a cough that I am not to fond of and her nose is a constant faucet. Ugh!! This sickness needs to leave...NOW!

My mom decided to come down on Thursday afternoon to help me out. Hubby had called in sick 2 days in a row and he needed to get back to work. I was in no shape to do everything that needs to be done with Mady. Plus, she was pretty worried when we went to the hospital on Wednesday night so she left the next day to come here. I cannot tell you how excited I was to have my mom here and what a truly amazing help she was. She cooked dinner, played/took care of Mady, went shopping, ran errands, cleaned, and so much more. I felt bad we could not do too much since I was still pretty sick. I overdid it on Friday when she was here so that left me housebound on Saturday.

Matt and I had our doctors appointment on Friday. I was anxious to hear the precious babes heartbeat and know that everything was ok. I still haven't gained any weight and instead lost another pound. I asked her about my weight and she was not too concerned especially being that I have been sick and my lack of appetite. She told me what cough medicine I could take and then we listened to the heartbeat. Perfect. In the 150's and she could tell that he/she was moving around. I felt such relief. It was a quick appointment. We go back for the anatomy/gender scan on Feb 15th. I'll be exactly 20 weeks. I wish we didn't have to wait so long but we really can't afford to put out extra money to find out early and that's ok. We will find out soon enough!

It has been such a nice time with my mom here. Just hanging out and enjoying each others company. I am so thankful that she is my mom. I cannot put into words how wonderful she is! I, of course, cried big crocodile tears when she left. I just did not want her to leave and I'm not sure when we will see them again. Everyone has such busy schedules in the next few months but I am praying Mady and I can at least make it up there sooner rather than later. Living away from family is probably one of the hardest things I have gone through. I am praying that we can permanently move back up there soon!!!

Today is another day of rest for us. I cannot wait to feel 100 percent! Lots of cuddles, rest, water, and movies!

Where do I even beginning....

Honestly, I have no idea where to even beginning with all the craziness going on right now. Basically, my poor family, including my pregnant self, has come down with the flu badly. It all started with the hubby. He was sick Sunday, Monday, and part of the day Tuesday. He never really spiked a fever, but had a horrible cough and congestion so I am not 100 % sure he really had the flu. So, I spent those days taking care of him and trying to keep the germs away as much as possible. No such luck.

Tuesday I woke up not feeling the best. I had a small cough but nothing really to write home about. However, I have been sick off and on since Christmas so I was so over all this sickness. Well, when Mady went down for a nap so did I. I woke up feeling like a truck ran me over. I felt awful. Matt decided that we were going to go to Urgent Care since I had been sick for a while and I am almost 16 weeks pregnant. We dropped Mady off at our Savior's house, Franki and Jason while we drove there. I had a slight fever of 100 so they decided to test me for the flu. Guess what?! Positive for Strand B. Awesome. However, the doctor who saw me almost had me in tears and scolding me for not getting the flu shot. Seriously, I walked out of the door to call my mom to let her know and I just burst into tears. He was horrible. I already feel horrible as it is and he just kept going on and on about how I should have gotten the flu shot and that there was nothing they could do for me but try to keep my fever down and take Tylenol every 6 hours to help with that.

By the time we got home, I felt awful! Matt called out of work and he spent the night taking care both of us. I think I slept a total of 3 hours that night and just could not get comfortable or get my fever down. I just wanted to cry. I don't think I have ever been so sick. Haha...that was nothing compared to yesterday.

So, yesterday I notice Mady is sneezing and coughing and feels warm. Again...awesome. But, she was acting completely normal, running around and being crazy. I decided to check her temp. 102. Ugh! So Matt ended up taking her to the doctors that morning and you guessed it positive for Strand A of the Flu! Oh my goodness. Once, she got home, you could tell she was down and out. She fell asleep in my arms and we transferred her to her to bed. She woke up and looked horrible. Plus, she was not letting me give her any meds. We tried to get her to eat a little something but mainly drink. Well, she did that and then 2 seconds later, throw up, everywhere! She is crying hysterically and saying "OH no my juice!" Haha. Oh Madelyn. I love you. I wanted to give her a bath but she was not having it so we just rocked for awhile until she calmed down. Well, by now, I am feeling horrible again and my temp is creeping up to 102 which I know is dangerous for the baby. I attempt to take a bath to cool me down but nothing is working. Then, I start throwing up everything I had eaten that day. Meanwhile, the maintenance man is knocking on our door because our bathtub water is leaking into the apartment below us. Um, not a really good time right now. I am throwing up and Mady is in the bath. Ugh. So, poor Matt is running around like a mad man. Finally, the maintenance guy leaves and I just never have felt so horrible and nothing was bringing my temperature down and I could not stop throwing up even when there was nothing left to throw up so we make the decision to go to the ER.

I wanted to go to the ER where I know my OBGYN doctors are just in case so that is over a half hour away and we have to bring Mady because she tested positive for the flu and we didn't want anyone to catch it from her. Well, we get there and O.M.G it is packed! I made the decision to send Matt home with Mady until it was her bed time then Jason was coming over to watch her or really make sure she was ok when she was sleeping. So, Matt gets back and I had been waiting for about an hour and half. During this time, they took me back to get my temp, pulse, and blood pressure. The nurse said that my pulse was really high and that I was mostly likely dehydrated which I wasn't surprised at then they sent me back to the waiting room. While we were waiting, Matt gets a call from work saying he has to go to some mandatory training at 0400 and he needs to get course work before he can complete the training. He tried to explain that he was at the hospital with his sick wife and basically was told "It is your call if you come or not but I highly suggest coming" so now we have to make the decision if we stay or go because I would have no one to come get me from the hospital if I stay especially if I am discharged in the middle of the night. By now, it has been 3 hours since we got there and I was in tears. I felt horrible. I went up to the reception lady and wanted to know why everyone who came in after me was already being seen and most had left. I was kind of rude, and if you know me, I hardly ever get like that. But I was so pissed. I am 15 weeks pregnant with the flu and dehydrated...would you not think that takes some kind of precedence. So, we left. I cried the whole way home.

Finally, we got home and I took my temperature and thankfully it was 100.7 so I felt better because I was scared it was going to be really high. I took 2 Tylenol and headed to bed. Thankfully, I slept somewhat decent last night. Poor hubby had to get up at 2:30 am after getting maybe 3 hours of sleep and after the day he had running around. I know he was so upset with work making him choose over keeping his job and the healthy of his wife and baby. But I was the one who decided to leave because he would have stayed. He was really upset that something was going to happen to the baby because we decided to leave. Poor guy. I felt so bad. Thankfully I have a doctors appt tomorrow and I am super anxious to hear the baby's heart beat and know that everything is ok. Also, my fever broke this morning so I am so thankful for that. I woke up so sweaty and knew that the fever was gone.

My mom is headed here today and I cannot tell you how thankful I am that she is coming. Matt is at work right now and all I want to do is go back to bed but that is kind of hard to do with a crazy Mady girl running around. So we could use your prayers. For our health and for the baby. I am praying that he or she is totally fine and we will have good news to report tomorrow.

It has been a whirlwind past few days...ready for this sickness to leave and never come back!

Sunday morning rambling...

It's Sunday morning, the hubby is at drill, Mady is watching House of Mouse on the computer, and I have been laying on the couch watching Income Property. Exciting morning I tell ya. But honestly, its nice. Relaxing. It's cloudy out. Lots of Fog. It's just the kind of morning that calls for your pjs, watching TV/computer, and just quietness. I love it. I just miss my hubby.

He has been super busy with traveling, work, and the Navy that I feel like I have not had much of a chance to see him lately and I miss him. He is my bestest friend and it gets lonely when he is gone so much. But, he is amazing and works so hard for us. I am so beyond proud of him. I just miss him...

Things have been busy yet boring around here. New opportunities possible with some major changes in a short amount of time. Not sure of anything yet so I don't want to put it out there. Praying things work out though even with all the short term stress its going to cause.

Other than that not much going on. Mady is awesome, funny, and constantly on the go. She counted to 10 yesterday by herself. I was so excited then she wouldn't do it for Matt, of course! Stinker! She loves playing with her blocks and babies. She is so sweet with them and it makes me wonder if she will be the same way when the baby comes. I sure hope so.

I am 15 weeks and 2 days today. I have an appointment on Friday and I always look forward to going so I can hear that sweet heartbeat and know that so far, so good. I felt the baby move a few times this past week or what I thought was movement but I don't know what else it could have been. My belly continues to grow but is in that cute little belly stage which I love. I should take a picture. I was so bad at that with Mady. I think I took about 2 pictures because I hated the way I looked. I regret that now because looking back I really didn't look bad. I tend to get a chunky face so I think that is what bothers me the most. I am really looking forward to finding out what this little one is. With Mady I knew, without a doubt, she was a girl. This baby, I go back and forth so I am really curious who is in there! We have potential names but nothing set in stone. There really is no name that I LOVE! Matt picked Mady's name and I fell in love with it and now I cannot picture her as anything else!

Anyways, I am rambling now. There are so many times I want to sit and write but I don't know what I want to write about or what I really should put out there. So this is just a random, general update on what's going on.

Looking forward to my hubby coming home from drill even though the poor guy is so sick! and enjoying some football today with him! I love Sundays with my two favorite people!!

Doctor, Doctor!

These past few weeks have been hard. I have had this stupid cold that has lingered for about 2 and 1/2 weeks now. So my husband and mom made me call the doctor today. I really hate calling the doctor because I always feel like I am asking a stupid question or being annoying. My mom had to remind me "You are paying for their services...you need to call them!" Ok, mom, ok!

So I called and everyone was super nice. Basically she told me what medicine was ok to take but was concerned with my lack of eating and the flu going around. SO, she gave me 1-2 days to take the medicine and feel better and if not to go get tested for the flu. UGH! I honestly don't think I have the flu. I don't have a fever or the body aches/chills. I think it is a bad sinus infection. 

See the main problem I have been having is tons of mucus that drips into my stomach (lovely...right?!) and makes me so nauseous and not hungry which leads to these horrible, debilitating headaches...vicious cycle! It also leads to me to throwing up mucus most morning. So I am trying my hardest to keep eating whatever sounds appealing which isn't much and try to kick whatever I have to the curb! 

The hubby has to go up to DE tomorrow for a work related thing that is overnight, and he is taking the car that is reliable (duh). So,that leaves me home alone with Mady for 2 days. The nurse on the phone said the main goal is medicine, rest, and fluids. Ha.Ha.Ha. on the rest aspect. I am just hoping I can survive the next 2 days or at least start to feel better because this whole thing is getting old! I am so tired of having no energy! 

The things we do for our babies, both in the world and in the womb! 

On a more positive note, I will be 14 weeks and 6 days tomorrow so that is always exciting. Also, I'm pretty sure I have felt this little one kick or move around a few times. I love feeling that! We should be finding out the gender soon enough and I am super excited about that. 

Mady has been super cute when I ask her what is in my belly. She loves to hug and kiss it. The other day she wanted to sit on the babies lap. Ha. Silly girl. She also wants the baby to play with her already. Soon enough!

So let's hope the medicine does it's job because I really don't feel like going to the doctor or being sick for much longer!

Just some thoughts

*Tomorrow I will be 14 weeks! Once we hit mid-December I felt like this pregnancy was going quickly. Before then, horribly slow! We should find out the gender of the baby around mid February. We aren't paying to find out early so we will just wait until the anatomy scan. Currently, and I guess, for most of this pregnancy I am team boy. It is just so different than my pregnancy with Mady so we shall see. I know the hubby wants a boy but, as always, we truly just want a healthy baby.

*I had my first "omg we are having another baby but Mady will always be my baby" episode. Of course I started crying. She is just my everyday buddy. We really do everything together and I don't want her to think that I don't have time for her or that the baby is more important. I know these are typical and normal feelings but still it kind of broke my heart a little bit.

*Sorry this post will be boring since I haven't really taken any pictures lately.

*I had so much energy on New Years Day, I went kind of crazy with cleaning, purging, and cooking.  I am still getting over a cold so I shouldn't have went so crazy because I have really felt it the last two days. But I have not had that kind of energy in months! It felt so good to deep clean my bathroom and kitchen as well as making a delicious home cooked meal of chicken pot pie...delicious!

*Sleep has been for the birds lately. For whatever reason, I sleep so well for the first 4-5 hours and then I am awake tossing and turning until the hubby gets home from work or I hear Mady yelling from her crib. I have been taking a nap almost everyday because I am just so darn tired. Stupid sleep!

*Mady's new phrase is "I sure did!" I asked her the other day if had finished her banana and her reply was, "I sure did!" She now uses that phrase all the time. I have no idea where she comes up with this stuff. It is so funny. What is crazy to me is how well she uses the correct words in the correct context. She makes me laugh everyday with her crazy antics. My life was so boring before her! =)

*It felt good to undecorate this year. Usually I am sad about taking it all down but this year not so much. Mady was an absolute terror during the month of December. I'm not sure if it had to do with Christmas and all the excitement over everything but oh my Lordy! Plus, I like having a clean, clutter-free living room. Once November rolls around, I am always ready and anxious to get everything out!

*Mady is napping and I think it might be time to take one myself. It is just one of those cold, dreary, and cloudy days...perfect napping weather!

It has been a year!

This past year, 2012, has been a doozy. It probably was one of the hardest years I have been through and Matt and I have been through together. However, this year has taught us so many lessons which I am truly grateful for now. I am excited for the new year. I like the feeling January 1st brings. A fresh start. New opportunities. New outlooks.

This past year we moved away from where Matt and I grew up, went to college, and had our daughter. We moved away from family who we love and were super close to. We came to Virginia, not knowing anyone, not knowing the area, or what was in store for us. Oh boy...

We moved into a crappy apartment that had so many problems, smelled horrible, and had cockroaches. Our fuse box caught on fire and we were basically homeless for 24 hours in the dead heat of summer. It was horrible to say the least. Thankfully we were able to get out of that terrible situation and into a better place and area.

We moved down here so hubby could take a job that he thought he would like and lead to better opportunities. That's not exactly how it turned out. He has a great attitude about it most days even though I know he is not happy there. Also, the pay is horrible and we struggled financially. However, the Lord always provided.

We sold one of our cars to then realize that it was a bad decision for us at the time. This led to a month and half of Mady and I with no car, no where to go, and really no friends. It was a depressing and hard few months. Then the car troubles continued when we found out that Matt's check engine light problem would cost us close to 1000 dollars. But, it was the only car at the time...we needed to get it fixed. Again, the Lord provided. Thankfully, in the beginning of June, with some help from people we love, we were able to purchase another car and become a 2 car family again. Praise the Lord!

August came and so did more disappointment, unfortunately. Matt had been interviewing and going through a process with a job he had his heart set on since February. Everything was falling into place and it looked like he was able to land an awesome job and opportunity until we got a letter in the mail saying he did not get the job. We were dumbfounded and caught completely off guard. It was a tough few days but we felt the Lord's peace and slowly moved forward. Looking back now, we are thankful he didn't get that job for many different reasons. The Lord had us in his hands.

I struggled with missing my parents and everything in New Jersey that felt like home to me. There were many days of more tears than smiles. Matt and I struggled to make true friendships down here. We thought we had made some great friends until somehow, someway things fell through. It was a weird honestly and still confuses me but, the Lord had different friends in mind for us.

Things started to turn around for us in September. We finally got our community group up and running and met some fabulous people who love us and our daughter so much. We feel truly blessed to have met them. We finally feel connected.

Then in October we found out we were pregnant with number 2 that is due in late June. We are beyond excited and thrilled for this new little gift. Hubby is interviewing for a new job closer to family and we will know in the mid to late January if that is a go, and if not, well then the Lord has something better in mind for us.

Throughout this year, I have seen the Lord's hand in our lives more so than ever before. He has guided us, mended our hurt hearts, brought us closer together as husband and wife, and to him. He has provided for us in every way that we needed. It may not have been easy year by a long shot but He was there, right beside us the whole time. As much as I am looking forward to this new year, I am thankful for this difficult year. (and trust me, it takes a lot for me to write that and believe it) The Lord used it to shape and mold us more like Him.