After I put Mady to bed tonight, I shut her door and immediately started thinking about how innocent she is. How precious this time is with her.
How she does not know how evil and horrible this world can be. How much I want to protect her from any mean or nasty thing she will encounter here on Earth.
To have the innocence of a child again...To see the world through the eyes of my Madelyn.
I wish I could go back to that place. To be an innocent 23 month old.
To know that when I wake up my mommy is going to be there to get me.
To make me a yummy breakfast.
To play "outside chalk" with me.
To have random dates to get donuts just because it is that kind of day.
To not have a care in the world other than if my mommy is going to let me watch another Curious George episode.
To know that if I get hurt, my mommy/daddy will be there to kiss it to make it feel better.
It is so precious and genuine.
I often find myself thinking about how innocent Mady is. How much she still has to learn. How much hurt is in this world all while thinking how much joy there is. I just want to protect her to everything.
But...I know I can't. It is so hard, as a mom, to come to grips with that. To know that I won't always be there to kiss every boo boo and make it better, when those "boo boo's" are actual hurtful words that another classmate has said about her and her red hair (yes I worry about people making fun of that while I think it is the most beautiful thing!)
To know that I cannot mend every broken heart she will have.
To know that I have to watch her get hurt by friends who she thinks are true friends but are really not.
To know that I cannot make everything better, all the time even thought that is my only desire. To just make everything better with my magic wand.
She will someday discover all the mean and hurtful things but I hope she sees how much love and happiness there is to have as well.
My hope to her, as a mom, is that she holds onto that innocence for as long as she can. Because it just passes by too quickly.