Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Mixed Emotions

Mady is currently napping at 9:40 in the morning. Her usual nap time isn't until usually 11:30-12. Why then is she sleeping at 9:40 in the morning? Because my lovely daughter decided 4:45 was a decent time to wake up and talk and yell for me until I got her out of her crib at 5:30. It's only 9:40 and I feel like I should be eating lunch right now. Anyways...

Right now I am dealing with all kinds of emotions about Mady and our upcoming weekend away. To say she has been difficult lately is a huge, ginormous understatement. Some days I just feel completely defeated as a mom. I just don't know what to do to get her to listen to me or obey what I am saying etc. We have tried and stuck with time outs and a little smack on her butt. I know I need to give it time to work but seriously some days I am at my wits end. I just cry while she is crying in time out and trying to get me to cuddle with her while she is being punished. (She is one smart little girl...I have to give her that)

So, this weekend she is going to her Nana and Pop Pop's for a few days so me and the hubby have a chance to celebrate our anniversary and honestly we need this time.

But I know I will miss her. Sure a few hours without her, no big deal but 3 days....

It makes me sad. I know I'll miss her more than I can honestly tell you. We are buddies all day, every day. But I know both of us (meaning Mady and I) need a little break, change of routine from each other.

She will be thrilled to be with my mom and dad. Last time we left them to go home she cried and had a huge meltdown. So I am not worried about that one bit.

But I want to be able to enjoy my time with Matt and not constantly "worry" about her, or think about her. I don't even know if that is possible and honestly it sounds mean what I am saying but its truly how I feel. But Matt needs my full attention. I don't want to constantly say "let's call and check on Mady", "I wonder what Mady is doing", "I miss Mady." Our marriage is so important to me and my husband is so important to me and I want him to feel that from me this weekend.

I know she will be fine and she will be spoiled and have a fantastic time. She mostly likely won't be too concerned I am not there.

I will see her on Monday, hopefully feeling refreshed and re-energized in both the wife and mom department. Because the good Lord knows I need it. =)

I have a mixed bags of emotions about this weekend and leaving my buddy and spending much needed quality time with Matt.

This mom and wife business is no joke! It is so exciting and awesome while at the same time draining and difficult.

Here to hoping for a fantastic weekend for all of us!

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