To put it bluntly...we have made some stupid decisions with money over our married years.(AH! Just thinking about it now makes me so mad!) However, God has laid it on our heart about a week ago to start working through Dave Ramsey's The Total Money Makeover. All I can say is WOW! It is great stuff but definitely not easy.
I have been a selfish, crazy, mean, frustrated person lately. Some days are great and I am all for the plan. Other days I just want to throw everything we are doing out the window! Sadly, it is mostly because I want something that I can't have. (Sounds like a 2 year, I know, but it is true)
We are getting rid of one of our cars. Yup, that means we will only have one car. Thankfully, Matt car pools with 2 other guys from his work so Mady and I will only be without a car one or two days a week. Still, it is an inconvenience and something that I am struggling with but I know in the long run, it will be worth it.
Also, Matt is getting another job. UGH! It makes sense for him to get another job that works during the night. It makes me sad to see him working so much but yet again I know it will be worth it in the end. I keep reminding myself, "Only for a time." He already had one interview today and another one on Thursday. I am praying that the job provides what we need without Matt working like a mad man.
Through all of my tears and frustration, Matt continues to be a rock for me. He listens to me, lets me get upset, and then we talk about it. Usually after the tears are gone and I have calmed down, I feel better. You see, I cannot hide my feelings. I am horrible at it. Matt ALWAYS knows when something is wrong, and will usually ask me "whats wrong" until I tell him. He is such a wonderful husband. I could not go through this difficult time without him by my side.
It is a constant, daily, struggle for me to give everything over to the Lord. Allow him to work in us and work through us in all of this craziness. I know He is going to get us through this. His plan is better than ours. It is so easy to type or say all of that and completely different to live those words. It is something I am working on daily.
In other news, the last two days with Mady have been great! She has been well-behaved and very pleasant to be around. I honestly think when she is teething, watch out! She is mean and crabby and cranky but really who can blame her. It is just hard on this momma to see her so miserable. I think a trip to the park today might be in order. It always makes her happy.
We have to find our "God spots" in this crazy life we live in, and Madelyn and Matt are truly one of my constant "God spots"
I'll leave you with an oldie but goodie. (Mady is 6 months. This was taken while Matt was home on leave before he left for Kuwait.)
|These two make me smile everyday.|