Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A reason for everything...

Lately I have been really thinking about how the Lord always has a plan for us even when we don't. He is always there even when we don't "feel" him there.

Many times I look back on my life and see how the Lord is in everything. I see how he always provided that little extra money so we could pay all of our bills. I see how he provided my Madelyn for a time in my life when I would need her. There are so many more examples but I want to tell you how the Lord knew I needed Madelyn even before I knew I needed her.

Matt and I had been married for a year and a half before we found out we were pregnant with the goob. We got married our senior year of college and lived off of Matt's Navy bonus. I was student teaching, therefore not working, and my poor husband was serving at a local restaurant and going to school full time. After we both graduated from the same college, I started to look for a full time teaching job and Matt started to apply to every job under the sun and....nothing! We were both working dead end jobs. I was subbing and in the summers working at a local waterice/ice cream place. Matt was serving still and started subbing as well. It was crazy however, the Lord continued to provide everything we needed to get by. I look back now and realize how the Lord was completely providing for us.

On February 17, 2010, Matt and I went out to the cracker barrel for one of my favorite meals! Yummm! We got home and I had this weird feeling I might be pregnant (no we weren't trying....at all!!) However, I would get myself freaked out often so I had some pregnancy tests on hand and figured it would be negative. So I went ahead and took it and don't you know that sucker told me I was pregnant in 30 SECONDS....none of that 2 minute business! I think I just stared at the test for a minute and then I opened the door and told Matt..."Um..I think I'm pregnant..." (cue the tears...). Matt was soooo calm. He said ok and then I quickly told him I needed more tests...the ones that say pregnant or not pregnant! SO my sweet husband ran to the Rite Aid and got the most expensive tests! And don't you know....PREGNANT! OMG...now what?

Matt and I hadn't planned on trying for a baby for another year. We wanted to be settled, have full time jobs, some money saved away, have a bigger apartment or house, the list could go on. However, the Lord knew I would need my Madelyn. He had a better plan.

Our family was beyond excited for us and so supportive!

In May, Matt got the phone call that changed a lot. He was being deployed the following March for 11 months. *cue the tears again*

Now I knew why we were pregnant. The Lord was giving me a purpose especially while Matt was away.

Let me tell you....It was the hardest thing to be a single parent to a newborn/baby but honestly I do not know what I would have done without her. Yes, there were days were I was depressed but having Mady could not allow me to wallow in that feeling. She needed me and I think I needed her more. She has been the biggest surprise and the best blessing in the world. I thank the Lord everyday for my little goob. She has changed my life. I look at her and think "if I had things my way, I would not have the privilege of being this little girls mom" 

The Lord has a plan and a reason for everything.  There are reasons we receive unexpected blessing and unexpected heartaches. We just need to continue to trust that his plan for us is greater than our own plans.

My unexpected, most wonderful blessing!

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