Tuesday, March 13, 2012

A year ago today

A year ago today...my life changed. My husband left for what was supposed to be an 11 month deployment to Kuwait. We found out he was leaving when I was around 5 months pregnant. We had months to prepare ourselves for this but I do not think anyone can fully prepare for their best friend and love to leave for so long. That day my world stopped but it could not last for long. I had a 4 month old who now was relying solely on me. Thankfully we moved in with my parents for the duration of the deployment so I could have help and help us save some money. It was truly a blessing to be around them everyday and the amount of support I received from them. Mady fell in love with her Nana and Pop Pop and they fell more in love with her everyday. (My mom is totally my best friend and I do not know what I would do with out her!) My parents and brothers were so amazing and I really could not have done this without them. Anyways, the first few days, it didn't quite settle in yet. I just seemed like he was away for a few days and would return soon. However, as the weeks went on and reality set in, it became even harder. Of course, I had Mady to fill my day. She was 4 months old when he left. He missed all of her first. Her first words, sleeping through the night (9 months!!!!! ah), crawling, swimming in the pool, walking, Halloween, and first birthday. (and of course he came home exactly a week after her birthday!) Those times were difficult and many times were filled with me feeling sorry for myself to be honest.

During his deployment we were able to Skype a few times a week and Mady was able to see her Dada and I was able to see my hubby. I am grateful that his deployment didn't require him to be away from a computer days or weeks at a time. We sent e-mails and there were some phone calls (he could only call me. I could not call him)

Anyway, through the next 8 months, since his deployment got cut short, I learned so much about myself and our relationship. I learned that I can do it. I am a strong woman. Yes, of course there were hard days, days when I left like I didn't have any more energy to give Mady or anyone for that matter. Matt and I grew as well. We realized how much we loved each other and how lucky I am to have him as a best friend and husband! They were a long 8 months and I was so excited when he surprised me and drove home a day early! That was the best surprise (besides finding out we were pregnant with the goob....HUGE surprise!).

It was an adjustment when he came home. I was so used to doing everything with Mady by myself and my way. I had to let Matt get to know her all over again and let him figure out what "his" way was. He is such an amazing dad so it was not hard for him. It took a little while for Mady to get used to him unfortunately. I am thankful, however, that he was away at a time that she did not realize he wasn't there. I know there are more deployments in our future but I cannot worry about that right now.

I am beyond proud of my husband and everything he has sacrificed to serve his country. He is truly a role model to me. He never complains and just does what he needs to do. I love him beyond words!

I can't believe it has been a year since all that has happened. What a year it has been! Since then he has found a full time job as a federal police officer on a military base and we relocated to Virginia which has been difficult. However, I know the Lord has placed us here for a reason and for a time. I need to continue to trust in Him.

Now of course here are a few pictures of what Mady looked like when he left! She was so little!! Of course I don't have any pictures of the two of us because I was an absolute mess! I regret that now of course!

Helping Daddy pack the night before he left! =(

A few days before daddy left.
Our first family picture in 8 months!

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